Thursday, September 5, 2013

I Still Do


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“And He answered and said, “Have you not read that He who created them from the beginning made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’?  So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate.” –Matthew 19:4-6

 26 years ago, we stood in front of a congregation of friends and family. The candles were lit, the sun shown through the stained glass windows and I held the hands of my wonderful, beautiful bride. Pastor Ken Boyd presided over the ceremony and talked of a relationship founded on the love and guidance of God our Father was able to withstand any struggles this world could bring forth. We were more than two young kids in love, we knew from the beginning that God had brought us to that very place for a purpose much bigger than us.
Love is a precious commodity and can be given or withheld based on our emotional feelings at any given moment. But, let me tell you this about the woman I was fortunate to marry. Her love is as genuine and unconditional as you will ever find on this planet. She has been gifted with the innate ability to love others through their problems, heartache and circumstances when others would normally turn away. I am so overwhelmed by the love she has given me for the last 26 years that it is beyond description.
A marriage built on the strength of the Lord and the principles of love, grace, mercy and servitude will endure.  The ratio of marriages that are ending in divorce is at an all time high, and it is my belief that in every single case you could trace the cause back to one of these areas.  There are situations of abuse, adultery and addictions that come between a husband and wife, and I hypothesize that these are outward actions to a deeper self-centeredness in one of the two partners.  Selfishness, pride and ego are all examples of one who is more concerned about themselves than those around them.  This individual offers up no grace or mercy and in most cases is not willing to serve the other person’s needs first.

If individuals took the words of the Lord seriously prior to marriage, I propose their marriage can withstand the trials of this world.  There are 3 levels of relationship: the Spiritual, the Emotional and the Physical.  At the young age of 20 – 25 most are so drawn to the other by the physical appearance and in most cases put this ahead of either the emotional or spiritual.  Any relationship that is built on sex, intimacy and a physical relationship is destined to fail at some point.  There is no substance there to hold it together for the long run, because let’s face it; there will come a time when that attractive, passionate spouse is going to become older and most likely less passionate.  At that point, what is left to provide strength to overcome obstacles in life.

The preferred path of relationship is to develop from a spiritual basis or foundation, evolving into an emotional relationship and then the realization of a physical relationship after marriage.  This path centers on God and the Holy Spirit as the strength of the relationship, forming the intimacy between the two individuals.  A solid foundation that will last throughout the married life between the man and woman shares a core belief in the one true God.  When life’s obstacles, struggles and situations arise the faith that binds these two together is held onto as the armor to defend what God has brought together. 

Furthermore, each individual with a strong relationship with God, through Jesus Christ, enters into the relationship with an attitude of love, mercy, grace and servitude.  As Christians, we are tasked in becoming more Christlike in our maturing life cycle.  This includes serving others first and thinking of themself second.  This self-lessness allows individuals to overcome many of the problems that cause strife in relationships today.  On their wedding day, individuals have no problem promising that they will stay with someone for the rest of their life, through good, bad, sickness and health; but without the love of God drawing them together and holding them together, it is nearly impossible to remain committed to that promise. 

The joy of my marriage to Lisa is that after 26 years I can still stand before her with love in my heart and state – “I do”.

             
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