Learning to Love

“And He said to him, “‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.’” Matthew 22:37

My thoughts:

I try to be loving and compassionate and understanding and patient, but sometimes it is difficult.  I love them without condition, undeniable and with every ounce of my being, but sometimes they just don’t listen.  Of course I’m referring to my children.  As a parent, perhaps you are in the same place.  Why is it that my children are smart, talented, loving and polite; yet disobedient at the same time?  I’ve watched the way they treat their friends and their friend’s parents. 

I’ve been at our friend’s homes with my kids and watched my kids take care of their dishes, their trash and pick up after themselves.  Using every manner we’ve ever taught them.  But then, I see them completely abandon these same manners in our own home.  They complain, they argue, they leave stuff everywhere and it’s like pulling teeth to get them to help with trash, cleaning, taking care of shoes and bicycles, or picking up their rooms.  The respect they demonstrate for Lisa and I is evident when others are present, but seriously lacking at other times when it’s just us.

And so it is in the way we treat our heavenly Father.  When we’re around other Christians or “like minded” individuals it is so easy to be on our best behavior and use our biblical manners; but when we are in the confines of our own little world it is so easy to slip into rebellion and destructive behavior.  Why is this the case?  God has made the rules very clear – love Him above all things, with every ounce of our being; and love others as yourself.  It’s not hard unless you start loving yourself more.

This is the path that leads to destruction.  When we put ourselves before others, including God and His plan for us, we are separating ourselves from His blessings and purpose.  Then we complain on where is God in this situation and that one.  It’s no different than your relationship with your kids.  You instruct them on right and wrong, good and evil, polite and rudeness.  You provide some discipline when they are outside of your established parameters.  But, when they are disobedient, ignoring, whining, complaining and thinking about how unfair life is – they are separating themselves from your parental guidance down a path of destruction for their life.

Just as you never stop loving your children, your heavenly Father never stops loving you, despite our many mistakes.  He has rules and guidelines and a path of righteousness laid out for you to follow, but we are distracted by the world and our own self interests.  I am thankful that He is a loving Father that guides my footsteps back to His path though.  If I treated my children the same way He treats me, I can assure you my household would be much more loving, peaceful and non-confrontational.  I continue to learn each day from the Master as I delve into His Word for guidance, advice and counsel.  I suggest the same for you.  

Be Blessed,

Rich

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Be the Father they deserve

Someone is teaching your children about things beyond this world.  Their friends, their teachers, neighbor parents, the television, social media and the music they listen too.  Yes, all of these people and things are influencing their perspective on life, death, right and wrong.  If they are young they are very impressionable.  If they are in college they are making choices, setting life directions and establishing their own opinion on these major topics in life.  There are choices that will impact who they marry, who they befriend, who they look to for leadership and who they will influence. 

Are you having an influence on your children on these important topics?
Have you actually sat down with them and discussed life, death, salvation, Jesus Christ and God’s grace; or are you expecting them to pick it up on their own?  If the latter, I’m sorry to say, it’s not likely going to happen.  There are too many forces in this world that will push your children in an alternative direction; and give them the comfort that it’s the truth.

It’s your job, it’s your single biggest responsibility in this life.  If you call yourself a Christian and you are not even willing to discuss it with your wife, your husband and your children; then you need to ask yourself why.  The bible teaches us, “Train up a child in the way he should go, Even when he is old he will not depart from it.”  - Proverbs 22:6.  It is biblical, and very much to the point that Fathers and Mothers are to teach their children the scriptures, the gospel and the saving grace through Jesus Christ.  You are responsible for this.  Not your church, not your kids teachers, not your kids friends; no – you are.

So, Father’s are you doing this?  Are you taking seriously the task of leading your household with a Christian mindset, and educating your children about Jesus Christ?  We are so quick to brag about our children and their latest achievements in sports, school, relationships and work.  Where are the FB posts about your child’s walk with Christ and their salvation?  Is it not 100x more important than anything else they may be engaged in?

We, as parents, need to set our priorities properly.  If you expect your child to pick up Christ by watching you model Christian behavior, than you better be getting it right 100% of the time.  They should be watching Christ and how He lived.  He is the example of perfection in human flesh.  He alone is the one your children should be modeling their lives after.  By all means, you should be living for Christ and allow them to see that in action, but teach them that there is only One mediator between mankind and God, and that is Jesus Christ.

I’ve recently spoken to a friend about his children and their faith.  He could not even tell me if they believed in Jesus Christ, yet alone that they were walking in a daily relationship with Him.  They were at college and they didn’t speak often, so he was unclear on where they stood.  This is a shame.  The influences impacting their spiritual walk are in most cases extremely liberal and opposed to the traditional Christian doctrine of Jesus Christ as the only way to the Father.  Are you seriously willing to stand by and allow your child to be influenced by the world without a fight for their soul?  The outcome is not pleasant, and as a parent of 5, grandparent of 3(almost 4) I cannot stand by and let my children’s faith be minimized, replaced or reduced to a worldly view.  It is our role as Father’s to shepherd our children through their spiritual walk and help them draw closer to Jesus Christ as their Savior and Lord.

Watch Your Step

Read It, Learn It, Live It, Share It

“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” – Exodus 20:12

One of the most quoted scripture verses in the entire Bible.  At one point or another most parents will pull this one from their repertoire of tools when dealing with teen-agers or rebellious children.  It’s conveniently used when trying to convince a child that they should listen to your instructions and do what you say to do.  The problem is that it often times has the complete opposite effect as intended and most times will push the child away from the word of God.  Let’s face it, nobody likes to be told you have to do what I say.  As true as it might be when parenting a child, I’ve learned that the majority of the time a child responds better when they understand the reason why you are asking them to do something.  This extra step help them to realize that it’s more than just a power play from a parent, it is advice and better judgment for a given situation.

Yesterday we took the kids to on a hiking expedition after church.  As we prepared to leave the house, we clearly told the kids to put on pants, socks and boots or shoes – no flip-flops, no sandals.  As we pulled into the first area we were going to go walking, the kids piled out of the car.  One in shorts, one in a skirt and the third wearing high heel sandals.  As we set off on our adventure, little Emma (age 4) in her high heels walked no more than 50 feet before she wanted to be carried.  “But Daddy, I’m wearing high heels, I can’t walk through these trees.”  A teachable moment ensued for both of us.  For me the realization that I should have checked all of their attire before leaving the home and the realization for Emma, that Mom and Dad were right about wearing the tennis shoes or boots. Back in the car we changed Emma into a pair of tennis shoes that just happened to be in the back seat.   Later in the day as we walked through another area, near a horse farm, the kids went running off into the woods to see the horses.  As I came through the clearing toward the pasture, I noticed the overgrowth all around my feet was poison ivy.  The kids, all now wearing tennis shoes and socks and shorts or a skirt, had run right through it all.  Their bare legs had to have come in contact with it.  Another teachable moment.  First, to explain to the children what poison ivy looks like and what will happen if they itch it, and secondly, to advise them to stay close to Mom and Dad so we could have walked a different path and avoided the overgrowth.  Needless to say, everyone was in the bath-tub last night scrubbing with hot water and soap to keep the irritations and infection from spreading.

All through life we are given these examples of teachable moments where the mother and father are given the opportunity to help the next generation learn as they grow.  These experiences when handled properly create more love and trust between a parent and a child than any act of forced authority that we might try to press down upon them.  The Bible is sure to point out that children ought to honor their father and mother not because of an age thing or because of an authoritarian principal, but because God has empowered the parents to raise the child in a God fearing, and loving way.  When this is abused and forced upon the child as  mandate without substance, there is less acceptance and more resentment.  I recommend we are better served to love our children, teach them, and help them understand the reason behind our requests as parents.  In doing so, they will come to realize that Mom and Dad are to be honored, trusted and loved; just the way God intended it to be.

             

© Sondove Enterprises, 2012
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Never Stop Teaching

Read It, Learn It, Live It, Share It with your friends

“My son, do not forget my teaching, but keep my commands in your heart, for they will prolong your life many years and bring you prosperity”  – Proverbs 3:1-2

I have been teaching my son and daughters many different things this summer: how to paint, how to build a fence, how to fix a chain when it falls off their bike, how to read, how to tie shoes, how to greet someone with a handshake, how to roller skate, how to play guitar and so on and so on.   These are the things that come naturally when we are raising our children.  They each have their own development curve and the activities we take for granted in our old(er) age they must learn.  They pick up so much through simple observation of our actions and characteristics, but some things they need us to stop, come down to their level and teach them. Most of this seems trivial, but I want to stress that it’s not.

Let me share with you a recent example.  I was with David (age 6) and reached out my hand to him.  He kind of looked at it for a second and then slowly lifted his hand but gave me a high five (slapped hands) instead.  I looked at him and said, “No Son, you need to shake my hand.  It’s how you greet someone, and then you introduce yourself.”  David looked at me, and asked one question; “Why?”  I couldn’t help but recall a scene from the Chronicles of Narnia – The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe movie, where Lucy (the youngest daughter) enters Narnia for the first time and encounters Mr. Tumnus at the light post.  He poses the same question to her when she extended her hand to introduce herself.  Anyway, I explained to David that it is good manners and polite and that a man’s handshake should be firm and strong, but not squeezing.  He laughed and said, “Okay, hey Dad, you want to see the new airplane I built from legos?”  Ahhh, the mind of a child moves so quickly from one topic to another.

This has me wondering though about the children around the world.  Parents are teaching them about the life skills required in this world, but who is teaching them about God?  Who is teaching your children?  I believe it is the one of the most important things you need to do in this life.  Your children need to understand the importance of the grace of God through His Son - Jesus Christ.  You cannot rely on someone else to share this with them and to help them understand this eternal gift.  You can’t save them, and they can’t get to heaven on your faith.  This is one purpose for your life that you cannot take for granted.  It’s not enough to know that you are secure in your faith and eternal destiny, your children must also understand the importance of this decision.  Lord knows, if we don’t teach them, someone else will, and you’ll have no visibility to their perspective.  As for me, I’m not interested in someone else teaching my children about morals, character, values and above all else God.

© Sondove Enterprises, 2012
For more Daily Thoughts go to: http://www.10minutereader.com