Watch Your Step

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“Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be prolonged in the land which the Lord your God gives you.” – Exodus 20:12

One of the most quoted scripture verses in the entire Bible.  At one point or another most parents will pull this one from their repertoire of tools when dealing with teen-agers or rebellious children.  It’s conveniently used when trying to convince a child that they should listen to your instructions and do what you say to do.  The problem is that it often times has the complete opposite effect as intended and most times will push the child away from the word of God.  Let’s face it, nobody likes to be told you have to do what I say.  As true as it might be when parenting a child, I’ve learned that the majority of the time a child responds better when they understand the reason why you are asking them to do something.  This extra step help them to realize that it’s more than just a power play from a parent, it is advice and better judgment for a given situation.

Yesterday we took the kids to on a hiking expedition after church.  As we prepared to leave the house, we clearly told the kids to put on pants, socks and boots or shoes – no flip-flops, no sandals.  As we pulled into the first area we were going to go walking, the kids piled out of the car.  One in shorts, one in a skirt and the third wearing high heel sandals.  As we set off on our adventure, little Emma (age 4) in her high heels walked no more than 50 feet before she wanted to be carried.  “But Daddy, I’m wearing high heels, I can’t walk through these trees.”  A teachable moment ensued for both of us.  For me the realization that I should have checked all of their attire before leaving the home and the realization for Emma, that Mom and Dad were right about wearing the tennis shoes or boots. Back in the car we changed Emma into a pair of tennis shoes that just happened to be in the back seat.   Later in the day as we walked through another area, near a horse farm, the kids went running off into the woods to see the horses.  As I came through the clearing toward the pasture, I noticed the overgrowth all around my feet was poison ivy.  The kids, all now wearing tennis shoes and socks and shorts or a skirt, had run right through it all.  Their bare legs had to have come in contact with it.  Another teachable moment.  First, to explain to the children what poison ivy looks like and what will happen if they itch it, and secondly, to advise them to stay close to Mom and Dad so we could have walked a different path and avoided the overgrowth.  Needless to say, everyone was in the bath-tub last night scrubbing with hot water and soap to keep the irritations and infection from spreading.

All through life we are given these examples of teachable moments where the mother and father are given the opportunity to help the next generation learn as they grow.  These experiences when handled properly create more love and trust between a parent and a child than any act of forced authority that we might try to press down upon them.  The Bible is sure to point out that children ought to honor their father and mother not because of an age thing or because of an authoritarian principal, but because God has empowered the parents to raise the child in a God fearing, and loving way.  When this is abused and forced upon the child as  mandate without substance, there is less acceptance and more resentment.  I recommend we are better served to love our children, teach them, and help them understand the reason behind our requests as parents.  In doing so, they will come to realize that Mom and Dad are to be honored, trusted and loved; just the way God intended it to be.

             

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