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"If you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any
comfort from his love, if any fellowship with the Spirit, if any tenderness and
compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same
love, being one in spirit and purpose."
- Philippians 2:1-2
As he closed the
door to their new Jeep Cherokee he paused and sighed deeply, tears were already
forming in his eyes. The snow was falling and the ground was covered with
white. Looking over the hood of the car he caught a glimpse of his wife with
snowflakes sticking in her red hair, a smile on her face. In a soft voice she
looks up at him, "You can do this.
We need to be strong now, it's important that we be there for him."
Ringing the door
bell, he inhaled deeply and prepared for the sadness that awaited him on the
other side of the door. A death in the family always brings friends together,
and his job this night was one of support. The door knob turned and the door
slowly opened. His best friend stood there in front of him with a smile on his
face, and greeted them with a warm embrace and firm handshake, followed by more
pleasantries and a glass of warm cider. Not
at all the welcome he had prepped for on the drive over tonight. A few moments
passed as others came and milled about, our host's response was the same for
each one.
Finally the moment
came when these two friends and another who had joined them had a chance to sit
alone by the fireplace. A secret to an open honest conversation between men, is
to inject a focal point that draws their attention, and then begin speaking. He
picked up the poker and moved the logs around as his host and their friend
settled in the chairs. The words weren't there. What was he supposed to say to
this man that had just lost his wife of 35 years. His throat swelled up as he
struggled to find the words, then his emotions carried forth and tears welled
up in his eyes. Wait a minute, he thought, why am I crying, my friend should
be. The widower stepped over and placed a hand on his shoulder, "It's okay. I'm okay. She was ready
and is dancing with Jesus tonight. Don't weep for me my friend, God gave me 35
incredible years on this earth with her and I know without a doubt I have
eternity with her one day."
How could this have
played out this way. This man loses his wife and is able to see through it to
the end state, while his lifelong friends gathered with him are mourning and
having a hard time coming to grips with it. Where does that strength come from?
As the widower's friend steps over to embrace the host of the night, he
realizes that he came here to support but ended up being the needing to be
supported. As the night drew to a close, the time came for he and his wife to
make their exit. Walking out into the snow storm, he squeezed his wife's hand
tightly. Something had changed from the moment they arrived to the moment the
left. His perspective of death had been completely wrong, and it took a
grieving widower to make him realize it. He had been married to his wife for 32
years and didn't even know her perspective on Christianity. As he opened the
car door for his wife, he leaned over and gave her a soft kiss. "Honey, do you know Jesus
Christ?"
There will come a
day when you're loved one’s lives will come to an end. It's inevitable. We have
no real control over it. What we do have control over though is the decision on
where we will spend eternity. You cannot save a single soul, not your spouse,
children, siblings or parents. Only God has that authority, it is a decision
they must make on their own. You do have the ability though to ensure they are
aware and thinking about it. If their life were taken tonight, could you wake
up in the morning knowing that you had done all you could to encourage, support
and love them like Jesus? I'm sure you love your family members and friends,
but love that lasts an eternity is focused on how much God loves them, not you.
Perhaps this is the time for you to have that discussion. It doesn't have to be
complicated or difficult. Open your heart with the love of Christ and allow God
to use you. If you would like help to introduce the topic, shoot me an e-mail
and I'll do what I can to help out. Be blessed.
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